I'm the Daddy!

It's been a while since I last blogged (as far back as September 1st) and, as most of you (maybe all of you) who read this will know, it's as a result of the biggest event of my life taking place at 22:25 on September 13th.

It almost seems impossible to write about new fatherhood without sounding cliched, gushing and self-important, yet by trying to avoid these traps you only end up sounding trite, flippant or downright uncaring.

In a way though, this paradox is as good a metaphor as any for explaining the wondrous, dream like state that ensues after the birth of your child. It feels like both everything and nothing all at the same time.

I should explain. Often, the question posed to a new father more than any other is, "So how does it feel to be a Dad?" This is never answered truthfully of course but I expect for many, as in my case, it actually feels no different at all to when you were a 'non-Dad'.

I'm still the same relatively irresponsible young man, with the same cultural likes, dislikes, character flaws and foibles, and it certainly hasn't changed my outlook on the world overnight. I'm no more or less conscious of global warming, street crime or the state of education even though I probably should be.

My new 'father' status is instead defined by individual moments, gradually enlightening me to the life that lies ahead. For example, when I worried the first time I saw my baby sneeze or the warm affection I felt when he first gurgled contentment as I rocked him to sleep in my arms.

Perhaps most strikingly, one morning at 3 o'clock, when having tried for hours to settle a baby who just simply wouldn't stop crying, despite being fed, changed and burped, my thoughts weren't of how terrible a night I was having but simply of wishing I could put right whatever it was that was wrong.

Of course, it would be churlish of me to say that it wasn't stressful, that I wasn't aware of how much I just wanted to get some sleep. However, therein lies my point.

So far, being a father has been both elating and depressing, both worrying and carefree, both fun and excrutiating, both everything and nothing. Yet despite the whirlwind I currently find myself in, what I can say with absolute certainty is that I love him.

It's as simple as that, and when all is said and done, for me and my boy, my Georgie boy, that really is everything I need to know right now.