Monday 12 December 2011

How 'Escaping My Certain Fate' could have ruined my life


Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die - Mel Brooks

I've recently been indulging in the wilfully obtuse comedy of Stewart Lee and, although it's been a true pleasure in many ways, I think I'm in danger of ruining my life. The problem is - such as when you discover anything of such irrefutable brilliance - I now find my outlook on comedy has been permanently and irreversibly twisted.

Stewart Lee's 'How I Escaped My Certain Fate: The Life and Deaths of a Stand-up Comedian, is so skillful in its deconstruction of the art, that it leaves one wondering whether they've ever truly said a 'funny' thing in their lives!

I'm by no means a comic genius (modesty) but I now worry every quip I've ever attempted is most likely based on a construct so clichéd as to render it verbal diarrhoea of the most fetid kind.

The thing is, Lee's not only made me worry (realise) that I'm not funny but his thinly veiled contempt has also made me uncharacteristically intolerant myself of late.

Recently, I had an argument with a woman on a train. The lady in question refused to move down the carriage despite other commuters being unable to get on - a common occurrence when commuting and a mere trifle you might quite fairly surmise - but, for me, someone who wouldn't think boo to a goose, it unexpectedly became an affront to my very principles of decency.

I found myself tweeting about it, ranting in a car full or friends about it and generally wearing the expression of a man whose testicles were perennially trapped in Janet Street Porter's overbite - and here is a man who was once - a friend of mine would have it - defined by a 'camp, chirpy optimism'.

Of course, like Lee, it's clear that having a son has had an irrevocable effect on my outlook. I'm far quicker to be wrought into a frenzy by life's absurdities and, in a reversal of the truism that people get more right wing as they get older, I seem to be leaning further left than I ever have before. Yes, a healthy dose of rage is undoubtedly a good thing but it can lead to a kind of waking nightmare.

Thankfully, to save me from myself, Lee offers a much needed lifeline, a way out of the corner that we paint ourselves into.

After a set packed with intelligent analysis of the very nature of comedy itself, he concludes by standing silently with a soft toy on top of his head, surmising that, despite it all, to his one month old baby there is still nothing funnier than a cuddly giraffe balanced precariously above an otherwise completely normal expression.

And the one month old baby, of course, is quite right. 

Wednesday 23 November 2011

'Money - A chart of almost all of it...'

A colleague at work sent me this visual representation of what could be described as 'the cost of everything', an attempt to document the amount of US Dollars spent, on average, on items ranging from the humble apple to the entire nation's spending on wars.

It's hard to be sure just how accurate it is (although a list of government sources is given), and no little amount of time needs to be dedicated to fully comprehending such a vast wealth of information (I'd suggest starting at the top left), but it is an astonishing, if rather saddening, picture of where the money is spent in our western society and the gross inequality prevalent therein.

Compare the average worker's annual salary with the disproportionately large figures of the leading CEO's and it's hard not to immediately rush for the red flag whilst frantically belting out the words to the Internationale!

Click here to enlarge
Source: http://xkcd.com

Monday 24 October 2011

Stone dead

The news of the Stone Roses reunion has garnered an understandable amount of press coverage and conjecture this last week. The ‘Roses’ were, after all, a band that ushered in one of indie music’s most notable eras, paving the way for the unbridled success of Oasis, Blur et al and, along with the Happy Mondays, burgeoning an already emphatic scene latterly to become subjugated by the moniker ‘Madchester.’
 
The Pollock inspired cover of their debut LP
Their eponymous debut album, released in 1989, is rightly heralded as one of the all-time greats from these shores; its mixture of kaleidoscopic melody, pop sensibility and psychedelic imagery bubbling over in a froth of youthful exuberance and working-class defiance.

And yet, these very characteristics - which weave together to form the fabric of what made the Stone Roses great – make this reunion far less palatable than those of their contemporaries Pulp, Blur and Suede.

Whereas Pulp champion introspection and social awareness – themes less likely to seem out of step with the onset of age (Jarvis Cocker’s Reading 2011 appropriation of ‘Joyriders’ as topical allegory to the recent nationwide looting being the perfect example) - the Stone Roses, with their anarchic dreams of regicide, blasphemous posturing and unabashed self-adoration, are totemic of a romanticism far more inherent to youthful abandon.

Is it artistically and romantically desirable to hear someone in their forties exclaiming the line “the past was yours but the future’s mine”?

John Squire's 2009 position on potential reunion
Irrespective of any ageism on my part, the Stone Roses, surely, were emblematic of the beautiful possibilities of working class idealism.

They fantasised in their bedrooms [while cars burned below them] and created a short lived expression of vitality that perfectly encapsulated the life-affirming escapism of 'rock 'n' roll'.

Oasis should have split in 1997, immediately after the 'here and now' that was their record breaking Knepworth shows; before that vitality was weathered away by the affluence and security that a prolonged recording career brings, debilitatating them in the process.

When you can't boast of lyrical insight or musical innovation, inevitably, there's only so long your appeal can last. Your star will burn brightly but fade quickly and that's the way it ought to be.

To see the Stone Roses reunite now, a full 23 years after that historic debut release, feels less like a resurrection and more like an exhumation.

Tuesday 4 October 2011

Is this just fantasy?

I'm partial to the odd bit of science fiction, even the occasional graphic novel (I've read Watchmen like everyone else), so happening across this guide was a bit of a treat.

A Guide to NPR's Top 100 Science Fiction and Fantasy Books
(Click to enlarge)
I'll be attending Star Trek conventions before I know it!

Source: www.box.net

Friday 30 September 2011

"But I wanted to win it better than you. You can understand that can't you?"

I recently came across the Yorkshire Television interview in which Brian Clough and Don Revie went head-to-head - since immortalised in the film 'The Damned United' starring Michael Sheen.

Amidst all the petty sniping, which admittedly reflects poorly on both of them, Clough nonetheless hits upon something that seems wonderfully sentimental and poignant given Tevez's readiness to throw in the towel recently - bear in mind Clough had only that day been sacked as Leeds United manager after just 44 days in the job.

His desire to take on the role, one so synonymous with his great rival, was not because he wanted to win more titles than Revie, necessarily, but because he wanted to win them better. It may have just been a clever quip at the time but still it seems to capture a wonderful idealism.

Thursday 8 September 2011

Give a little whistle

As a rule, I hate it when football managers criticise referees in post match interviews. For one, it's the easiest and oldest excuse in the book, plus why focus on something you simply have no control over?

Referee's will always make mistakes, always have, and the laws of statistics inevitably mean you'll get as many in your favour as against over time.

However, last night's 5-a-side match for Barely Athletic will always be remembered personally for this extraordinary incident...

Two players tussle for the ball. The ref's whistle blows. We stop. An opposition player proceeds to kick the ball in the net. I pick the ball up for what I assume is a free kick to us. Then the following dialogue unfolds...

- Me: Where's it from ref?
- Ref: Nah mate it was a goal.
- Me: But you blew your whistle.
- Ref: Yeah but I was trying to say 'play on' and blew it by accident.
- Me: But you blew your whistle!
- Ref: Sorry mate but it's still a goal.

Barely Athletic lost 7-1.

Monday 22 August 2011

Library Saved!: The Marine Professional Article

As well as the press release I posted here previously - and as way of a second in what will be a trilogy of IMarEST library press pieces on this blog - here is the article I was requested to write for the IMarEST Members newsletter, 'The Marine Professional', which goes out quarterly to our 15'000 Members...

Since the founding of the IMarEST – then the IMarE – in 1889, the provision of a library has been synonymous with the Institute’s promotion of academic disciplines in marine engineering, science and technology, our role in furthering the knowledge of Members central to the very definition of a ‘learned society’.

However, researcher needs continually evolve and now, as we push on into what is sometimes called the ‘digital age’, their expectations of libraries – or what we often refer to as ‘information services’ – have adapted in-line with the wider onset of mobile web technologies globally.

Researchers expect ‘real-time’ access to the full-text of books, journals and conference proceedings online and direct from their desktop or mobile device. They demand the ability to adapt and refine their searches with usable ‘Google’ style tools and interactive social media, ever increasing the relevance of the information they retrieve.

For the IMarEST this paradigm shift offers an opportunity to provide new online information services to all Members worldwide - especially significant as the IMarEST targets international Membership growth.

Already we’ve begun providing Member only access to a small but growing number of eBooks (for eBook access visit - http://www.imarest.org/knowledge), whilst also investigating the digitisation of our IMarEST serials archive in a fully-indexed and searchable online solution.

Furthermore, we are scoping the potential to provide Member only access to external research databases and discovery technologies that unlock a vast resource of full-text, 3rd party published material online.

Of course, amidst the clamour for new technologies, it’s important not to overlook the wealth of valuable knowledge still inherent to physical collections - especially when the content is not otherwise available online due to copyright restrictions or feasibilities of scale.

Therefore, with the relocation of HQ to Aldgate House, the IMarEST is delighted to have found a new custodian for its library in Lloyd’s Register of Shipping, who, in agreement with IMarEST, have transported our holdings to their historic building at 71 Fenchurch Street. There, in fittingly grand surroundings, IMarEST Members will be permitted access to an extraordinary knowledge base of research.

In securing the future of this unique and historically significant maritime resource, we have ensured the 122 year legacy of the Institute remains intact whilst opening up avenues for the provision of new online Member services on an international scale.

For more information visit The IMarEST Collection at Lloyd’s Register

Wednesday 10 August 2011

"People getting angry"

There's been an overwhelming amount of comment - some considered, some reactionary and some just down right idiotic - on the riots and looting across the UK over the last few days, but when considering the causes, I think Dorian Lynskey in his piece on 'crisis music' actually sums up my feelings quite neatly.

Importantly, he distinguishes between the original protest in Tottenham at the weekend and the mindless, meaningless, looting and violence of the the following days...

A riot is a weapon of last resort; a cry for help; a public form of self-harming. The spark in Tottenham was political: the shooting of Mark Duggan by the police, the incompetence of the police in explaining to the community what had happened, and – reports currently suggest — at least one instance of heavy-handed policing during a demonstration on Saturday. The fuel was the pervasive frustration and anxiety of a suffering neighbourhood: record levels of youth unemployment, social services (especially youth services) slashed to the bone, the Education Maintenance Allowance scrapped, a damaged relationship between the police and the community, and collapsing faith in the political class. But a lot of the behaviour, especially the looting, had no political impetus and the immediate outcome makes the lives of deprived residents even worse than they were last week. There are no winners.

Thursday 28 July 2011

Library saved!: The Official Press Release


(Source: IMarEST)

PRESS RELEASE

Gift doubles the size of the existing library and historical archives open to the public in the City of London


Lloyd's Register has taken delivery of the Institute of Marine Engineering, Science and Technology's (IMarEST) library giving the collection a secure new home and assuring its preservation for the future.

The historically important IMarEST collection – which consists of more than 390 linear metres of material – now resides at Lloyd's Register's offices on Fenchurch Street in London.

"Like our own collection, the IMarEST library is one the great resources still available for current and historic information concerning maritime history, marine engineering, naval architecture, offshore engineering and ocean technology. It was absolutely vital that this collection be preserved to continue to provide the public with a rich sense of one of our traditional industries," said Richard Sadler, Chief Executive Officer, Lloyd's Register. "Part of our mission as a UK-registered charity is to advance public education within the engineering and technological disciplines. It is through acts like this that we continue to fulfill that mission."

The IMarEST was established in 1889 and is the largest international membership body and learned society for marine professionals with over 15,000 members worldwide. The move was made necessary by IMarEST's relocation this summer to smaller premises, which would not have had room to house the collection. By offering the library a new home at the Lloyd’s Register Information Centre, the organisation is ensuring that this important resource remains available to the public and to the institute's members.

Against a backdrop of widespread library closures in London and with many specialist collections under threat, hosting such an important resource ensures that this unique part of IMarEST's heritage remains available to provide researchers with marine engineering, technical and scientific knowledge.

“The Institute is delighted that our incomparable collection will be housed in such ideal surroundings, remaining in the City of London, and open to all our members and to a wider audience interested in marine affairs,” says IMarEST’s Interim CEO, Fiona Morris.

“In addition to thanking Lloyd’s Register on behalf of the Institute, I would like to pay particular tribute to the hard work of James McRae, the Institute’s Information and Knowledge Manager. He has worked with Lloyd’s Register to ensure the smooth transfer of our vast collection from Coleman Street to Fenchurch Street, harnessing online tools to ensure all members are kept fully informed, and is now driving forward Institute plans for future online services. He has done a magnificent and highly professional job.

“We are extremely proud of our collection in its new and very permanent home and look forward to making use of it on a regular basis and meeting many of our Members when they visit the Lloyd’s Register Library.”

The IMarEST will continue to provide its members with information and knowledge services and a virtual library online providing e-books. It will also continue to hold the institute’s publications and some current specialist books.

Lloyd's Register’s own historic archive and library was founded in 1852 at the bequest of Principal Shipwright Surveyor Augustin Francis Bullock Creuze, FRS, and a founder member of the first Royal School of Naval Architecture. Nestled in the heart of the City of London, the organisations Information Centre provides access to its historic archive, plus a full collection of the Lloyd's Register of Ships, dating back to 1764, and associated publications and material.

"This is a great opportunity to combine our collections, each complementing the other, and to build upon the good work undertaken by the information staff of both IMarEST and Lloyd’s Register," Information Centre Manager Barbara Jones said. “There is a significant amount of work involved in maintaining an active archive and library, so we are ensuring that further resources are made available to assure a successful amalgamation of our two collections.”

The collections are open to the public Monday to Friday between 09:30-12:00 and 13:00-16:30. Further information can be found here

Tuesday 26 July 2011

Library saved!

Part of the library at IMarEST HQ
When it became apparent the library I've been solely managing for the Institute of Marine Engineering, Science and Technology (IMarEST) for the past three years would no longer be accommodated in our new office building, it began a long and desperate search for a suitable and willing recipient of a collection that was 121 years in the making.

For 18 months I feared, that should no one come forward, the library would be broken up and sent to the four corners of the country or, worse still, pillaged by our Members only for the remnants to end up in the bottom of a skip.

Thankfully, after a number of false dawns, an organisation called Lloyd's Register have, at the 11th hour, agreed to house the entire collection as well as allowing our Members continued access. It's the best possible result in the circumstances and, as well as feeling euphoric at maintaining the collection as an important piece of maritime history, I'm selfishly grateful not to be the man 'on watch' when the death knell tolls.

Of course both organisations see it as a potential opportunity for some positive press and as such I'm going to record it here over the next few blogs for posterity. Although my counterparts at Lloyd's Register deserve the greater credit, I'm really proud that I was able to play my own little part in a positive piece of library related news.

Sunday 10 July 2011

Film Review: Senna


*****
Ayrton Senna was always seen as the enemy in my house when I was growing up.

As huge Nigel Mansell fans, we were constantly aggrieved to see our hero thwarted by the mercurial Brazilian, yet it wasn't just his occasional rivalry with the Brummy that poisoned our view.

For the main part, this documentary focuses firmly on Senna's intense rivalry with the other great driver of his era, the Frenchman and 4-time World Champion Alain Prost.

Prost's diametrically opposed approach of cold calculation - giving rise to the nickname 'The Professor' - resulted in great friction between the drivers, not only manifesting itself in the paddock but also on the track and resulting in two of the most infamous incidents in Grand Prix history at Japan's Suzuka circuit in 1989 and 1990.

The British media at the time portrayed Senna as very much the guilty party, arrogant and reckless to the point of dangerous liability. Director Asif Kapadia's portrayal however, paints Senna as the victim of politics and, in particular, Prost's close relationship with head of the FIA, Jean-Marie Balestre, also a French national.

Certainly Prost shows his true colours when instantly heading to the stewards office following the 1989 collision, ultimately resulting in the latters disqualification and thus handing the title to Prost.



Senna found F1's politics abhorrent, deeming its prevalence contrary to the very spirit of the sport that he engendered to so many of his adoring Brazilian fans. He comes across as the most staunch purist, always quick to defend his actions - "the racer who sees a gap and doesn't go for it can no longer call himself a racer".

Throughout we are treated to insider footage of driver meetings, team discussions and interviews from the time, much of which fans will not have seen previously. Not only does it shed new light on events but it adds a humanity which was never apparent through the prism of the media.

On the race weekend of his death in 1994, just 24hrs after Roland Ratzenberger's fatal crash in qualifying, we see Senna visibly upset at the passing of his colleague, shaking his head and close to tears in the car on the grid. The audience, knowing a similar fate awaits him, can't fail to be affected by the tragic irony.

As we ride on board with Senna in his very final moments - horrific, upsetting but never exploitative - the tension is palpable. With no narration nor talking heads to dissect the original footage, we are left simply with the whine of the engine. A somehow fitting accompaniement as the life of a remarkable sporting competitor comes to an all too premature end.

Thursday 30 June 2011

Radical, Militant, Librarian

Couldn't help but enjoy this passage from a blog I read a little earlier today via LISNews....

Believing in access to information as a human right means fighting for our communities. Fighting to make sure the digital divide continues to shrink. Fighting for privacy for our users. Fighting against the entire concept of censorship and lately, fighting for libraries. So this is my call to arms. Librarians are revolutionaries, and society needs us. And no I don’t mean killing all the things with fire. True thought leaders, true revolutionaries, are willing to overthrow the system, or join it, if that’s what works best for their community.
- Amy Buckland, The talk I meant to give (Source: in forming thoughts)

It reminded me of this picture of a badge I came across a few years ago....


Here's a link to my previous post on Save Our Libraries Day and my personal battle for the library where I work (more news of which to come)....

Jocky's Blog: Save Our Libraries Day

Monday 27 June 2011

Culture vulture

This is going to sound like the whining of a middle-class, good for nothing swine whose life is so sickeningly comfortable that his worst concerns are merely the pettiest inconveniences but....

Do you ever feel like you're drowning in too much culture?

That last sentence makes the bile in my stomach lurch upwards. Yet it's true, isn't it, the modern world provides such ease of access to the arts, both high and low, as to make it nigh on impossible to know where to train your attention first?

I've currently seven series worth of 'The Sopranos' to plough through on DVD, the complete 'Blackadder' box set sitting untouched on a shelf since my birthday in April, I've even got 6 episodes of HBO's 'The Pacific' piling up on my planner. I'm not even sure I think it's a particularly outstanding show! It's no wonder I felt a palpable sense of liberation when I recently deleted a whole host of 'Curb Your Enthusiam' episodes.

Meanwhile, practically all the music in the world is available at the click of a mouse, enticing me to check out the latest upcoming bands, spending far too much time listening to some terrible indie also-rans who, more often than not, demonstrate as much guile and inspiration as an episode of Eldorado! - Never has the adage 'all that glitters isn't gold' been more apposite.

Of course, I've neglected to mention the increasing pile of unread books under my bed; classic novels, political memoirs etc. I really want to read them but just struggle to find the time.

So why do it to myself? Why not just forget about it? Why should I let my life be dictated by a white box in the corner of my living room? Why does reading a book sometimes feel like a burden rather than a joy? Am I too often trying to appreciate other people's interpretation of life rather than making the most of my own?

Yes, it's clearly a quest for more and more knowledge but it's also a simple and shameful case of pompous one-upmanship. Ultimately, I want to be able to talk in an informed way about everything and to everyone.

If someone happens to comment on a film, I want to have seen it; if someone talks about the philosophies of Descartes - unlikely as that may be - I want to be able to give some kind of informed opinion; should an album I haven't heard appear in the top 10 lists come the end of the year, I want to know whether I missed out on an unexpected gem or whether it really is the pile of over-hyped dog turd I originally presumed it to be. It may be pretentious, arrogant, I don't know but there it is.

In the developed world the majority of us have it pretty easy. Food, heat and shelter are all pretty much a given for most of us and as a result we bother ourselves not with survival and, shamefully, not with acts of kindness, but rather with developing an 'identity'.

It's no great insight on my part but clearly we end up judging ourselves and each other, not by our deeds, but by how we dress, what we read, our likes and dislikes etc. and, of course, I'm a main offender. Here is my blog with its lists of what I'm reading, watching and listening displayed proudly to the left of this very text you're reading now. This is how I define myself.

I recently read a blog, the full-text of which can be read here, discussing the onset of eBook readers and whether or not they will ultimately put an end to printed publishing of books in the future. Fascinatingly, it suggests this is unlikely for 5 main reasons, the last of which is quoted below...

5) E-books can’t be used for interior design.

It may be all about vanity, but books — how we arrange them, the ones we display in our public rooms, the ones we don’t keep — say a lot about what we want the world to think about us. Probably more than any other object in our homes, books are our coats of arms, our ice breakers, our calling cards. Locked in the dungeon of your digital reader, nobody can hear them speak on your behalf.

We may never get round to consuming the content of all the books, DVD's, CD's etc. that come into our possession but you can bet we'll display them on a prominent shelf anyway. Culture has always been a kind of social currency but it can also be as debilitating as it is empowering.

Monday 16 May 2011

I am become death

I just had to post this up. Since watching the clip for the first time this morning, I've become slightly obsessed with it. Whether it's the fuzzy black and white picture, his haunted face or the doom-laden tone of his voice, it just sends shivers down my spine...

Robert Oppenheimer, father of the atomic bomb, describes his reaction after witnessing the first controlled nuclear explosion

Wednesday 4 May 2011

A Right Royal Confusion

I wonder how many people, like me, watched the Royal Wedding with a strange sense of unexpected conflict?

I was already going to write a blog on this confusing day of mixed emotion but then I found one that already did a pretty good job of conveying my point anyway.

Please click the link to read The Weblog of Norman Geras

I hope you agree it's an interesting point of view and I wonder how many Republicans, if they were truly being honest with themselves, might have felt something similar?

Let me make it clear that I am anti-monarchy, that prior to the event I had no sense of excitement or anticipation and that I was doing everything I could to avoid my true feelings spoiling everybody else's fun; and yet, and yet, when it came to the day, I sort of quite enjoyed it!

Surely only the most churlish could not appreciate the sense of national pride and unity that the event cultivated in people? Jonathan Freedland, in particular, conveys that sense in his Guardian column. If not that though, then at least accept a certain satisfaction in the sight of a grand-scale, globally televised event well run?

In a world of X-Factor crassness where sensationalism is the norm, it was humbling to see such understated poise from Kate and Wills in the middle of this vast media storm - and yes I do realise the use of the word 'understated' is somewhat bizarre given the pomp and vast array of polished brass on display.

It all leaves a person with my political mindset in somewhat of a fix. Is it possible to separate your politics from the undoubtedly happy event? And should one even try to do so?

Regardless, I know I still fundamentally disagree with privilege through birth right. As Johann Hari, who's rhetoric I find increasingly troublesome nonetheless rightly argues, this acceptance of the Royals as a national institution only helps to reinforce the class divide and trickles down into wider acceptance of power and privilege throughout the rest our society.

Morrissey, a long time hero of mine, perhaps puts it best in a statement recently posted on True-To-You.net

The message is clear: What you achieve in life means nothing compared to what you are born into.

So where, I ask myself, does this leave me? I suppose I'm grateful that the British can be proud of something. There are so few opportunities to feel a sense of national pride and I truly can understand why people would look to a Royal Wedding for that sensation. I just regret that it has to be a pride linked to such an inherently unjust institution.

I suppose the only other events with the potential to unify us in the same way are international football tournaments, and occasionally they do achieve just that, but it's been many years since we could honestly take a sense of pride in our football team either, whether it be their repeated underachievement in the game or their lifestyle choices out of it. That's not to mention the toe-curling sight of boozy football fans stiring up trouble every second summer.

I suppose I will always, inevitably, be out on a limb in this sense. Proud of my country but for very different reasons to those of the majority of my countrymen and women. I will just to have to retreat, allow the nation it's moment and confide in listening to my Dad's old Beatles records....

Monday 18 April 2011

Tallinn it how it is

There's always a certain dread that fills my heart when I think about going on a stag do abroad. As much as I look forward to time away with good friends, resolutely devoted to drinking, I hate to think of myself as part of that awful, 'imperialistic' tradition of heading to the continent hell bent on the kind of hedonistic debauchery that often constitutes an episode of 'Ibiza Uncovered'.

I suppose it's my age but the moments I'll remember most fondly from my two days in Tallinn - the historic capital city of Estonia - will be far from archetypal.

Walking through the old town on a sunny Saturday morning was a delight, its domineering Gothic churches, medieval town houses and cobbled streets juxtaposed with Czarist era buildings that now form the equivalent of Estonia's Houses of Parliament.

Certainly too, a lunchtime trip to the Chicago bar, staffed by waitresses straight out of 80's sitcom 'Allo, Allo' (René Artois would never have been able to resist!) and also a wonderfully sophisticated lunch in our hotel restaurant, snaffled by chance, just before our flight back home to Blighty.

Wherever I travel in future years, I'm unlikely to come across anywhere so wonderfully idiosyncratic as the Depeche Mode Baar - a bar devoted entirely to Basildon's finest - playing a looping track of the band's thirty year career in a cosy cavern bedecked by signed memorabilia and flogging its own range of DM Baar merchandise.

I'm not even a Depeche Mode fan - or at least I wasn't until now - but the obsessive devotion required for such a ludicrous endeavour can't help but breed joyful appreciation in anyone who comes across it. Needless to say it acted as a welcome safe haven from which each day's drinking was ultimately to springboard, and when a song came on we actually knew? Well you can imagine the joie de vivre.

This isn't to say we were completely immune from the stereotypical and I was certainly vocal in insisting we spent Saturday afternoon camped out in O'Malley's Irish bar in front of screens, not only showing the Chelsea game, but both the Man Utd and Spurs matches simultaneously (as a married father of one, such an opportunity was too good to miss).

My defence, is that I always felt, wherever we laid our Tripodian headwear, we were never guilty of trying to impose our will on Tallinn.

When confronted by a karaoke bar full of loutish students insistent on their umpteenth rendition of Green Day's Basket Case that hour, we hastily retreated to the relative sanctuary of a nearby watering hole, where to our delight, there was a performer setting up with guitar and microphone. Understandably buoyed by our serendipitous discovery, we put in a familiar request. As the Big O's 'Pretty Woman' came warbling through the room, we knew it was game over. We were in that bar for 4 hours.

This local performer probably hadn't had such a receptive audience in years, especially judging by his slightly alarming top notes and penchant for a false start. This sweet chap, who apologised for every bum note, gave us an unexpected night to cherish. I'd like to think we gave him one too. When I offered him a drink between sets, I was delighted with his succinct response - "Gin!".

It was a remarkable weekend and one fully deserving of the 'stag'. There's no doubting the copious amounts of alcohol consumed but I'd like to think that even the most unforgiving local would have appreciated the camaraderie on display, not just between members of the group, but also between our group and the unique ambiance of Tallinn.

Tuesday 5 April 2011

The truth is in there...somewhere

Getting to the real 'truth' of any matter debated in our newspapers, on TV or online, is an incredibly difficult task. Just watch any debate on Newsnight, Question Time or 10 O'Clock Live and you'll hear a number of seemingly valid viewpoints that leave you merely wondering who you should believe.

Take the ongoing debate over the UK's public spending cuts: According to the Government, without attempts to reduce our spending we are likely heading towards a Greek style economic meltdown.

Those on the left, alternatively argue that reduced spending and widespread cuts will likely send us heading towards an Irish style economic meltdown.

It's no wonder so many are turned off by politics. As a species, humans like debates to be black and white, narratives to feature clearly defined goodies and baddies. However, true to my contrary nature, it's the need to 'analyse' all this rhetoric which I'm finding fascinating.

So who is right on the whole economic debate? Quite frankly, I just don't know. The truth, most likely, lies somewhere in the middle of these two extremes.

In the recent UK Budget, George Osborne reduced his 2011 economic growth predictions from 2.1% to 1.7% but this hardly seems like a justification of the Labour naysayers, at least it's not enough of a revision to prove that the Government's course of cuts is definitely damaging recovery. It may be slowing the recovery of course but we'll probably never know one way or the other.

As much as I hate to say it, all the evidence suggests to me that, for a period at least, it probably would be advisable to reign in the spending. However, this doesn't necessarily mean we need to go about attacking the public sector in the manner in which the Coalition are currently.

Knee-jerk reactions hardly ever seem advisable in any walk of life, yet this is the impression one gets of the current policy, plus it's who the cuts affect, and the potential political agenda associated, that causes the greatest concern.

Of course, I, like so many others, haven't provided a valid alternative to cuts here (although raising taxes and larger levies on the banks are obvious alternative fund raising methods).

So where does this leave us with our quest? Often in the search for truth I resort to instinct, an instinct which I'm well aware can lead me down the garden path, so when faced with this web of uncertainty, it only emphasises the need to treat all commentary objectively.

It's an obvious truism but socialists, no matter how much I might admire their political leanings, can sometimes paint distorted pictures just as well as any elitist Tory.

In other words, trust no one. Least of all yourself.

Monday 28 March 2011

Album Review: Let England Shake - PJ Harvey


*****
Sneak home and pray you'll never know/The hell where youth and laughter go - Siegfried Sassoon

Let England Shake certainly owes much to the war poets, conjuring as it does horrific tales of young men cast into the hellish nightmares of trench warfare.

However, whereas it would be all too easy for these 12 tracks to descend into cliché, in fact, and against the odds, PJ Harvey has crafted a work that not only sits as a tactful testament to the fallen but is a fitting tableau of humanity's multi-faceted struggle against self-destruction.

Throughout the album, the presence of nature is felt very strongly, the massacre and the killing inked indelibly onto the landscape, whether the stench of death "coming off the mounds of Bolton's Ridge" or the "Jagged mountains, jutting out, cracked like teeth in a rotten mouth."

On Battleship Hill, from which that last line is taken, is perhaps the most interesting track in this regard, not merely lamenting the cruel nature of man but also championing humanity's resolution (or is it begrudging war's futility?); eventually, despite the devastation, "The land returns to how it's always been."

It's also possible to draw parallels, not only with Iraq or even the current conflicts in the rest of the Middle East - "What if I take my problem to the United Nations", stolen from Eddie Cochrane on The Words That Maketh Murder - but with the global population's ongoing battle with Mother nature, whether that be climate change or other natural hazards beyond human influence.

Neither does Let England Shake deny the inherent romanticism of war, especially on All And Everyone, where the lines, "As we advancing/In the sun" ring out against a melodramatic musical backdrop that, to me, evokes images of the final scenes of British sitcom Blackadder Goes Forth.

It's evidence of Harvey's particular genius; not merely pedaling the truism that war is bad, but also empathising with man's plight and never assuming a moral high ground.

Of course, the album's other main theme is the resonance of England's chequered past. Harvey's relationship with her homeland is clearly troubled, at first appearing to romanticise the "battered books" and "fog rolling" on Last Living Rose but in the next breath clearly lamenting its "stinking alleys" and "drunken beatings".

This is revisited on the straightforwardly titled track England, the weight of a nation's failings leaving a 'bitter taste' but like 'roots from a vine', the connection with her homeland, for all its faults, is constant. "To you, England, I cling/Undaunted, never failing, love for you".

It's a tightrope that Harvey walks with Let England Shake but it's too her great credit that the subject matter is handled in such a delicate, ambivalent way as to truly replicate the complexities of war - the line between right and wrong being often blurred in extremis and our loyalties to each other and our country questioned at every turn.

Friday 18 March 2011

He's from Barcelona

I've just finished reading Russell Brand's second book(y wook), a brilliant and, at times, touching insight into his debauched world, but one chapter, entitled 'He's From Barcelona', opens with a passage that particularly tickled my fancy.

I think it might just sum up everything that's so brilliant about him whilst at the same time displaying many of the qualities his detractors so love to seize upon...

It was the biggest media event since Princess Diana died. An event that received as much news coverage as the mysterious death of the most famous woman in the world. When it happened it was blown up like 9/11. It was on the front page of every newspaper, every day, for almost a month. Every television news broadcast opened with the story. Twenty-four hour rolling news channels rolled with the news for twenty-four hours. It was analysed, debated and contested by an entire nation. Even the country's leader, the Prime Minister, was involved when it was discussed in the Houses of Parliament. What was it? A prank phonecall. And who done it? I did.

Tuesday 15 March 2011

Album Review: Hotel Shampoo - Gruff Rhys


****
Gruff Rhys is a busy man. When not fronting Super Furry Animals - nor promoting side project concept albums in tribute to bankrupt 1980's car manufacturers - he's producing short films and an art installation, the latter based on all the shampoo products he's acquired from various hotel rooms over his touring life.

So provides the inspiration for the title and artwork of Gruff's latest solo album, initially intended to be a collection of piano ballads but materialising into something much more diverse, an eclectic mix of influences from Caracus to Camarthen.

Perhaps more importantly though, the Welshman's penchant for delicate melody makes a return to prominence. Nowhere more so than on Honey All Over - a sugar-coated delicacy of a song - matched only by the exquisite Vitamin K and sublime If We Were Words (We Would Rhyme).

There's an understated charm to the album, not brash nor brazen in any way, a soulful companion with whom you feel comfortable and content, yet remaining musically vivid and harbouring a playful joie de vivre that masks its sometimes melancholy lyrics.

At all times Gruff Rhys' personality exudes forth, particularly in wonderful lines such as "tummy full of tumbleweeds" but also in the way he makes use of humour. Take this Guardian piece on how he wrote Sensations In The Dark by way of example.

By the time Space Dust #2's call and answer duet has washed over you - "You upped and left without warning/I had to work in the morning" - and Patterns of Power has imparted its piéce de rèsistance, you simply find yourself marvelling at the fact all this artistry can be traced back to a collection of hotel toilets.

Only in Gruff Rhys' hands would this turn out to make perfect common-sense.


Monday 7 March 2011

Album Review: Computers and Blues - The Streets


****
I must admit I'm a late adopter when it comes to The Streets. Whilst Mike Skinner was making his greatest impact, back at the turn of the century, I was far too enthrall to The Strokes led, NME coined, 'New Rock Revolution' to appreciate him.

Over the following decade however, my respect for his talents has burgeoned to the point where I have finally invested in an album, financially as well as emotionally...

Computers and Blues is an impressive mix of skilled word play and dry observation, but on the face of it, Mike Skinner's earnest philosophising could be seen as bordering on the trite. "If you're going through hell, keep going" he opines unhelpfully at one point, channeling the vocals of Robert Harvey - The Music front man and omnipresent force throughout the album. Nothing to challenge Nietsche there you'd be right to think.

However, for every excruciatingly overwrought 'epiphany' - the likes of which are found again on Roof Of Your Car - there's a moment where Skinner's honest and straightforward touch really does make its mark.

A Blip On A Screen, for example, benefits from a stark and touching simplicity, describing a new father's emotion on first seeing evidence of his unborn child - "I fix and I plan/but this is just mad/I love you/You're only 100 pixels on a scan."

Puzzled By People offers further glimpses of inspiration. "You can't Google the solutions to peoples feelings" seems such an obvious remark to make but belies a hidden insight.

Of course, the appeal of Computers and Blues isn't just the underlying theme of survival in our technologically fraught world, there's the heady mix of tunes that add dynamism to Skinners peons on modern life.

We Can Never Be Friends inevitably lends itself to comparison with Dry Your Eyes and, in fairness, it doesn't fall far short; another heart wrenching tale of love lost and the strength required to accept the harsh realities of such.

At the other end of the spectrum, Trust Me is an urgent, grimy and beat laden affair. It's hard not to fall for Skinner's witty whimsy found in lines such as, "I see Alice in Wonderland/I see malice in Sunderland" which sound anything but the work of an act nearing retirement.

Alas, retirement is inevitably where this album finally rests its focus and, once closer Lock the Locks fades from the speakers, it's all too clear that the UK music scene will be much the lesser for The Streets departure.

Whatever Skinner turns to next, The Streets lasting legacy will undoubtedly be the ability to marry thoughtful word play, witty observation on modern life and mass popular appeal. No mean feat.

Monday 28 February 2011

Album Review: Valhalla Dancehall - British Sea Power


****
Valhalla - (Norse mythology) the hall in which the souls of heros slain in battle were received by Odin

With Valhalla Dancehall, British Sea Power have succeeded in demonstrating both their virtuosity and ingenuity.

Who's In Control opens the album with a rallying call to arms, wishing protest "was sexy on a Saturday night" and proudly questioning the status quo.

Georgie Ray is inspired by a combination of George Orwell and Ray Bradbury dystopian nightmare and boasts the most joyously piercing guitar solo heard in many a moon; the song's message captured perfectly in the passage, "Before the language gets perfected to a solitary grunt/Can we still sing electric on the sun?" - Wonderful.

Stunde Null, the German language equivalent for 'hour zero' - and more specifically used to refer to the fall of the Nazi's Third Reich - clears the decks with a raucous cacophony of guitar and, whether intentional or otherwise, acts as a portent symbol of the forthcoming change in the album's approach.

From here on in, British Sea Power are determined to harness every single weapon in their armoury. Mongk-II is all woozy vocals coming on like a long, lost rock standard; Baby is a delicate slow burner with a plinky, plonk piano motif; single Living Is So Easy boasts memorable opening gambit, "Oh my God did she look cute/At the Dame Vera clay pigeon shoot", a line so distinctively British Sea Power that it only serves to underline their unique idiosyncratic genius.

As masterful as this band undoubtedly are, it's hard not to feel a little disoriented by it all - and that's before the dual epics of Cleaning Out The Rooms (another ode to starting afresh) and Once More Now have come to pass. As a result, quick fire nuggets such as the magnesium burn Thin Black Sail and the astronomical Observe The Skies seem to unjustly lose their impact.

It's a minor criticism however. Rather we should all be grateful for a band, and an album, of such range, reference and riotousness. Odin would no doubt approve.

Wednesday 16 February 2011

"There's no such thing as Cameron's Big Society"

Having watched Johann Hari and others debating the Big Society on Channel 4's ever improving 10 O'Clock Live, I can't help but think, that in the battle between right and left, and indeed, right and wrong, both camps are missing some important points.

The raw concept, as described by Cameron, is fundamentally infallible. Who, in their right mind, could deny the worth of encouraging those in the local community to volunteer more frequently, to take ownership of local services and, ultimately, take more responsibility for the environment and the people around them?

Indeed, charities, associations, schools etc. rely on the free time and goodwill of those in their local community, without whom they simply wouldn't survive. Go to any school Summer Fête or witness the Salvation Army providing free hot food and entertainment on a troubled local council estate and you'll see many volunteers who are the very definition of 'Big Society'.

Those on the left who attack the actual principle risk appearing to throw their toys out of the pram for the sake of it, or worse, could be rightly accused of hypocrisy. Surely socialists are in favour of many of the ideas encapsulated by Cameron's supposed mission?

The crux of the argument against therefore, is not in the 'what' but in the 'how' and 'why'. You've also got to ask yourself should Governments be espousing such a principle as policy? Surely Cameron is stating the obvious in his plea for Britain to volunteer more? Government shouldn't be preaching to us on a solely moral level but empowering us to be able to support each other in practical ways.

I'm yet to read or hear of a successful practical example of Cameron's vision and, frankly, how would we judge whether it's down to his good leadership regardless? The new PM has been quite clever in that respect, the Big Society's success, or otherwise, is pretty hard to measure.

It's clever too in its apparent diametric opposition to Thatcher's infamous quote 'there's no such thing as society'. In terms of image, Cameron wants to distance himself from Thatcher in an attempt to re-brand his party as 'compassionate' and it could be argued that he has been successful in doing so.

Of course, when you read between the lines, it becomes clear there's not much difference at all. Tuition fees have risen, public service spending has been cut drastically, plans to restructure the NHS look to be threatening equal standard of care for all etc. etc. ad nauseum.

Conservatives would argue that the UK's current financial debt means cuts are essential and that we are, after all, 'all in this together', but it's increasingly difficult not to feel the Big Society, and the need to address the debt itself, is merely a convenient cover for Cameron's real purpose in stripping back. Indeed, there is suggestion that only increased government spending leads to increased volunteering and that the belief people will step forward willingly despite cuts is, quite simply, wrong.

When bankers, whose misdemeanors, lest we forget, have put us in this precarious position, are still able to award themselves enormous bonuses, is it any wonder we find ourselves questioning the significance of over half of Conservative party funding coming from City financiers?

Either way, we shouldn't confuse a policy with a concept - which is all Cameron's 'Big Society' appears to be. Judge the coalition on policies alone, policies which suggest Cameron's Conservatives are interested in anything but the welfare of wider society.

Monday 31 January 2011

Save Our Libraries Day

Libraries have been all over the news recently and, inevitably, it's bad news. In these tough economic times, the Coalition Government will not be making funding available to keep many public libraries operating in the future.

There are numerous news sources covering the finer points of the cuts and what they might mean, in particularly stark detail here for example, but the below map of potential public library closures provides a quick overview of the sad scale of the threat.


View Public Library Closures in the UK in a larger map

There's wide coverage online of the inevitable and essential protests too, with author Phillip Pullman, amongst others, taking up the fight, and I particularly liked this impressive act from the residents of Stony Stratford which displays a quiet, dignified defiance.

I expect it's also the inspiration for the Chartered Institute of Library and Information Professionals (CILIP), Save Our Libraries Day, a call to the general public to unite on the 5th February and check-out as many books from their local public library as possible in protest at the Government's proposed actions.

Quite apart from David Cameron's insult to library professionals in believing they can adequately be replaced by un-paid volunteers, I agree wholeheartedly with the idea that libraries not only act as a civilising beacon in our society but also provide a focal point for the local community and most importantly, as stated in CILIP's Guidelines on Public Library Provision, provide "equality of opportunity".

***

I guess it's a particularly emotive subject for me, reflected as it is in my own personal workplace battle to salvage the Institute's library collection - a battle which still remains somewhat in the balance - and which is coming to a head over the next couple of weeks.

Although my persistent argument for maintaining the physical library in-house for Members has fallen on death ears, I still hope that the collection will be donated en masse to a suitable recipient and we'll be able to supply online access to a vast wealth of material going forwards instead.

It hasn't made a day spent clearing out unwanted stock any easier however, and I'd be lying if I didn't feel the weight of history bearing down upon me - since 1889 this learned society has had a library and I'm the man on watch when it's lost.

There's a certain poignancy therefore to the small protest I will be making by borrowing books from my local library on Saturday. Perhaps in some way it will make up for a certain helplessness I've felt at work.

Either way, I feel the need to backup the promise I made to myself when deciding to join the Labour Party at the end of last year. Rather than simply donating my few pounds a month, I'll be taking positive action in the best way I know how.....by reading books.

Friday 28 January 2011

Top 10: Manic Street Preachers Albums

Having finally got to see the Manics on their Postcards From A Young Man Tour at Brixton last weekend I have to say I was surprised - despite having seen them live a number of times now - just how great a live band they really are.

Now that the tour is officially over, and in light of last night's Blackwood Miners Institute gig, it feels like the most recent chapter of their story is coming to a close. As such, I'm going to stick my neck out and attempt to place 'Postcards' in the great pantheon of works the band have achieved over their plus 20 year career.

Brace yourself for what will no doubt be a controversial top 10 albums (in fact there are only 10) from the band who like to say 'Yes'!....

Albums
1) The Holy Bible (1994)
2) Everything Must Go (1996)
3) Journal For Plague Lovers (2009)
4) Postcards From A Young Man (2010)
5) Generation Terrorists (1992)
6) Gold Against The Soul (1993)
7) Send Away The Tigers (2007)
8) This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours (1998)
9) Know Your Enemy (2001)
10) Lifeblood (2004)


Friday 21 January 2011

England's Dreaming

It already feels like a distant memory now, but I couldn't let England's cricketing triumph down-under pass without comment. Although, undoubtedly, our first series victory in Australia for 24 years is memorable for many reasons, perhaps what has struck me most is the surreal nature of following an event that is unfolding while I sleep!

Not having the luxury of Sky Sports, nor the iron constitution to pull an 'all nighter', it's almost as if it's been happening in a completely different dimension!

I can thank BBC 5Live's Test Match Special Podcast for keeping me in the loop but apart from that it's been general practice to wake in the morning and, before all else, nip down to my DAB radio and tune into the post 'close of play' analysis.

The sense of anticipation as I reached for the dial was tangible. What would confront me? An England batting collapse, a bowling display of the highest order or a double century for Alistair Cook?

Thankfully, the news was more often positive than not and it really set up my day for the better as I contemplated my commute to work.

On arrival at the office, a colleague of mine, who's passion and knowledge for cricket could - although hasn't until now - lead me to nickname him 'Wisden', would remark on the night's play, seeking my opinion and giving rise to an unprecedented eventuality: never before has so much been opined by someone seeing so little of the events under discussion!

Somehow, I can't help but think the reality of this success will never truly sink in. The last Ashes series in England was a widely acclaimed success, the previous home soil series led to a celebratory open top bus procession through London!!

I've a certain sadness that this, clearly greater, achievement will undoubtedly be far less lauded by the general public nor even, I expect, prick the nation's wider conscience. I almost wonder if it really happened at all!

Certainly puts a new spin on that most sticky of philosophical wickets...

Tuesday 11 January 2011

Has Assange's argument sprung a leak?


We believe that it is not only the people of one country that keep their own government honest, but also the people of other countries who are watching that government through the media. - Wikileaks

I know the whole Wikileaks debate is, like, so last year but I've recently read a couple of interesting articles on the whole 'force for good or evil' debate that ignore the widely regurgitated arguments of whether nations should be allowed to keep diplomatic secrets and focus instead on the potential for Julian Assange's brain child to actually hinder freedom of information.

In particular, I find the below point from this opinion piece quite interesting...

Unfortunately, as Julian tries to paint the broad releases as a noble action, it ironically makes the process more secretive than ever. The fear of “leaks” will drive discussions and information further behind closed doors and off of any documented record. This will ultimately make it even harder, years from now, to gain an accurate picture about what really happened. The history will be lost as fear of leaked information forces diplomats, military planners and others within world governments to keep things “off the record.”

Julian Assange appeared in my 'Heroes of 2010' list - I am applying the innocent until proven guilty ethic to the current rape accusations - but I accept that, regardless of the outcome of any impending trial, maybe I, and the wealth of people championing Wikileaks, might still live to regret it in the long run.

Wednesday 5 January 2011

Some blog housekeeping (2010)

So as a new year takes its first fledgingly steps, time to clear out my 2010 lists and start afresh for 2011. Below is the vast majority of my cultural intake for the past year. Pleased to have upheld last year's resolution to read more....

Reading...

33revolutionsperminute by Dorian Lynskey - Blog
Going Deaf For A Living by Steve Lamaq - Blog
David Mitchell (Guardian) - Column
Charlie Brooker (Guardian) - Column
East of Eden - John Steinbeck
1977 - David Peace
No Country For Old Men - Cormac McCarthy
The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
Liver - Will Self
V for Vendetta - Alan Moore and David Lloyd
1974 - David Peace
Johann Harri - Blog
The Clash - Strummer * Jones * Simonon * Headon
The Books of Albion - Peter Doherty
Watchmen - Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons
Disgusting Bliss: The Brass Eye of Chris Morris - Lucian Randall
Touching From A Distance - Deborah Curtis
Kings of the King's Road: The Great Chelsea Team of the '60s and '70s - Clive Batty
The Hell of It All - Charlie Brooker
It's Only A Movie - Mark Kermode
marbury: a british commentary on the obama presidency... amongst other things ... - Blog
Frank Skinner (timesonline) - Column
Caitlin Moran (timesonline) - Column
Mozipedia: The Encyclopedia of Morrissey and The Smiths - Simon Goddard

Listening...

The Ashes with Test Match Special (BBC Radio 5 Live) - Podcast
New Boots and Panties - Ian Dury and the Blockheads
Serotonin - Mystery Jets
His 'N' Hers - Pulp
Inside The Huddle (NFL UK) - Podcast
The Russell Brand Radio Show (talkSPORT) - Podcast
Desert Island Discs (BBC Radio 4) - Podcast
The Decline Of British Sea Power - British Sea Power
Postcards From A Young Man - Manic Street Preachers
The Suburbs - Arcade Fire
Open Season - British Sea Power
The Chaos - The Futureheads
Total Life Forever - Foals
Your Future, Our Clutter - The Fall
Butterfly House - The Coral
Baddiel and Skinner's Absolute World Cup Podcasts - Podcast
Plastic Beach - Gorillaz
Congratulations - MGMT
Imperial Wax Solvent - The Fall
Life Is Sweet! Nice To Meet You - Lightspeed Champion
The Bugle (timesonline) - Podcast
Collings and Herrin - Podcast
Answer Me This! - Podcast
Off The Wall/Thriller/Bad - Michael Jackson
Contra - Vampire Weekend
Autobahn - Kraftwerk
Substance - New Order
Unknown Pleasures - Joy Division
Scott 4 - Scott Walker
Them Crooked Vultures - Them Crooked Vultures
In Ghost Colours - Cut Copy
Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison Live - Johnny Cash

Watching...

The One Ronnie - BBC1
Being Ronnie Corbett - BBC1
Peep Show [Series 7] - C4
Upstairs, Downstairs - BBC1
Eric & Ernie - BBC2
Toast - BBC2
Kick-Ass (DVD)
Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang (DVD)
Sex and Drugs and Rock & Roll (DVD)
Anvil! The True Story of Anvil (DVD)
The Trip - BBC2
A Single Man (DVD)
Harry Hill's TV Burp - ITV1
New Tricks - BBC1
An Idiot Abroad - Sky1
Back To The Future (25th Anniversary Re-Release)
Later with Jools Holland - BBC2
QI - BBC1
Have I Got News For You - BBC1
Never Mind The Buzzcocks - BBC2
The Apprentice - BBC1
Cemetery Junction (DVD)
Four Lions (DVD)
A History Of Horror With Mark Gatiss - BBC4
The Inbetweeners - E4
The Infidel (DVD)
Ponyo (DVD)
Sherlock - BBC1
Toy Story 3
Precious (DVD)
The Road (DVD)
The Wire - Complete Series (DVD Boxset)
The Hurt Locker (DVD)
Me and Orson Welles (DVD)
The Day Today - Complete Series (DVD)
Frank Skinner's Opinionated - BBC2
An Education (DVD)
Let the Right One In (DVD)
There Will Be Blood (DVD)
Outnumbered - BBC1
New Tricks - BBC1
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (DVD)
Up (DVD)
The Invention of Lying (DVD)
District 9 (DVD)
Moon (DVD)
Mad Men - BBC4
Being Human - BBC3
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (DVD)
Frost/Nixon (DVD)
The Woody Allen Collection (DVD Boxset)
Scandalous - Russell Brand (DVD)

Tuesday 4 January 2011

And so this is football....Merry Xmas (love is over)

[I wrote this blog before Christmas but have only just got round to posting it. Apologies for the slightly less than topical nature (not to mention its essay like length), although Blatter's recently revealed intention to establish an anti-corruption commitee at FIFA has prompted more debate of some of the issues]

***

A while back, it was proposed by my good friend Gareth (@tokyobeatbox) Watts, that an interesting topic for a blog might involve trying to answer something along the lines of the following question....
How low would the state of football, and the actions of footballers in particular, have to stoop before you would prefer not to promote an interest in the game in your own son?
I'll let that digest for a moment....

The question was prompted by a number of well documented scandals regarding high-profile superstars of the English game.

From the philandering of John Terry - consequently losing his position as England captain - to the 'expolits' of players such as Andy Carroll, Steven Gerrard, Joey Barton et al.

However, at the time it was posed, I could see how, despite possible caveats, I would ultimately argue the dubious actions of individuals - even though they admittedly appeared to be increasingly widespread - should not deter from the appreciation of the wider beauty of the fundamentals of the game.

Since then, there have been a couple of significant incidents that make me question that view.

First on the rap sheet, one Wayne Rooney - and not for his otherwise dubious granny-gabbing, nor his wider penchant for 'playing away' - who, in this blogger's eyes, did far more to undermine the integrity of the game than any of the previously highlighted suspects.

His, and his agent's, unethical tactics in renegotiating the terms of his contract with Manchester United were, quite frankly, beyond the pail.

Insisting he wanted out of the club, he then performed the swiftest u-turn since Nick Clegg on tuition fees, and, with the most lucrative weekly wage in English football assuredly in his pocket, implored fans that he had received the necessary reassurances from the club consequently convincing him to stay.

Now I'm not naive enough to believe that such under-hand money grabbing tactics haven't taken place before in football, but never has it been so blatantly to the disrepect of the fans, worse still, it seems to have set a precedent for other agents to follow.

We have seen Manchester City's Carlos Tevez, club captain no less, pretending he desired to leave for Argentina, citing homesickness as his cause, only to withdraw his transfer request when offered a new contract.

Unfortunately, clubs are setting themselves up for more widespread use of this tactic in the future. Would Cloughie, Revie, Shankly, Busby et al have stood for it? I'm still surprised that Fergie did! 'No one player is bigger than the team' - an adage I still believe in as a fan but sadly, it seems, the Managers and Directors of our clubs have less time for.

Yet, it's not Directors, Managers, Players or even Agents that take this commentator's shitiest of shitty biscuits....

Sepp Blatter signs off FIFA's mission statement, proudly displayed on their most corporate of websites, with the following....

"We see it as our duty to take on the social responsibility that comes hand in hand with our position at the helm of the world's most loved sport.

Join us in uniting forces to develop the game, touch the world and build a better future!"

In handing the 2022 World Cup to Qatar, I would suggest that FIFA has, at worst, fully undermined any integrity the above statement might have, and, at best, grossly over-estimated the influence it can have on the governments, peoples, and belief systems of the world.

Qatar is a nation fraught with social problems, which, FIFA would argue, is the very reason the World Cup should go there. However, what, in reality, can FIFA hope to achieve in the few weeks the circus comes to town?

Is it not better to reward those countries who have freed themselves from tyranny? Could the World Cup not act as an incentive, financial or otherwise? Surely that was the case with South Africa and, in a different manner entirely, Germany. Both were nations with troubled pasts, screaming out to showcase their new found 'unity' and 'social responsibility', an opportunity to rid themselves of a global image that no longer relflected reality.

With Qatar, this is simply not the case, and were Sepp Blatter not to betray his mission statement by making disrespectful comments regarding the activities of homosexuals, you might simply be able to disregard the move as a delusion of grandeur. The fact Qatar is one of the richest countries in the world however, leads to more sinister accusations.

So, returning to the question posed at the beginning of this blog - Do I really want to encourage my child to idolise people who are, in their various guises, corrupt, greedy, adulterous and violent?

It's a tough, tough one to call, but as with this year's revelations about the Catholic Church and the harm it has caused to the image of those with a belief in God (I don't think the horrendous actions of Catholicism should necessarily prevent people idolising the 'true' concept of God; similarly, I believe in the ideal of communism, but I accept that the reality is unworkable); undoubtedly, the ill intentions of those that follow an ideal shouldn't necessarily mean that, as a concept, that ideal has no value.

And so therefore, do I neither feel that corruption in football, no matter how widespread, should prevent our youngsters from believing in the true joy that competing in such a wonderful sport can bring. Its lessons of accepting victory and defeat with grace can't be overvalued and an appreciation that sport, like art, can be truly life-affirming is a precious thing indeed.

As George grows up, I have to hope that, should he take an interest, he will see the dividing line between the good and the evil in football. As his father, I will have to simply trust his judgement.

I suppose you could call it the gift of free will.